[lifetime] reflections

Since my grandma past away last Tuesday I've had some time to think about life. Sometimes I feel like I deal with death in an 'odd' way but I feel like I've had the worst of it and from here on out death is suppose to happen. Grandma (Harriet) Lidke was my last grandparent. I never met my Grandpa on my mom's side and the memories of my Grandparents on my dad side's are very few. I do know that sometimes when people offer their sympathy it's hard for me to take because I don't have many fond memories of my Grandma. No family is perfect but I knew from a young age my Grandma was not a healthy person and she didn't treat my mom well. It wasn't until I grew up that I just came to realize that she's family and she's needs us just as badly as we need her. From then on out that's the relationship I had with her. I am grateful that she was able to attend our wedding this past May. She didn't socialize much or stay long at the reception but she enjoyed herself and that's what mattered. She was loving yet critical, helpful yet needy.

I'm not trying to down the life of my grandma because she lived a full and long life. I have learned through this loss that I know that I want my legacy to be that of happy memories and when people compile my eulogy I want it to be nearly impossible to fit the good times into a 3 - 5 minute speech. That's it now, enough family losses for this girl for a while, huh?